Like most parents, Seagal Hagege, a mom of three in Irvine, California, wasn't exactly looking forward to sheltering in place.
Together all day? In one house? How would the kids respond?
Much better than she could have ever imagined, it turns out. Over the course of the past month, she said her kids, ages 8, 7 and 4, have become better behaved, kinder to one another and more independent.
"Beforehand, they didn't have a chance to just be present at home. Every day after school we were running to music, running to gymnastics, and then we would get home, do homework and go to bed," Hagege said.
"Now we have a chance to get stupid and take a break together. They've really stepped up, and they are shining," she said, talking about the games her kids are inventing and their new responsibilities like slicing fruits and vegetables for meals.
"It's been really eye-opening. I don't want it to go back to the way things were."
A number of parents are encountering a similar (and unexpected) response to shelter-in-place rules as Hagege: Their children seem happier.
They are less busy, have more control over their time, are sleeping better, seeing more of their parents, playing more alone or with siblings — and feeling better for it.
To be sure, this is but one of many feelings children are experiencing, which also include anxiety, fear and sadness. They're all valid responses to what is not a happy moment for the planet.
And there are a large number of children living with financial insecurity and grief. No sane person would expect kids to be feeling better in those circumstances.
Still, the rise of happiness in the families lucky enough to be experiencing it is notable. It helps parents see some of what was going wrong before the pandemic and contemplate how they might want to restructure their lives after this is over.
Kids are getting to slow down
While it's too early for any studies on a happiness spike, hundreds of families from around the United States have shared on social media and in discussion boards a sense of relief and joy, which tracks with what we know about the causes of childhood anxiety and depression today.
One of the most well-supported explanations for this rise of mental health disorders is that children have too much going on and not enough choice over what they do. It's a function of a whole society that is overworked and time-poor, and our kids are paying the price for it.
"Kids have been thrown from very adult organized life into one where there is a much bigger stretch of unstructured time,"said Lenore Skenazy, author of "Free-Range Kids" and president of Let Grow, a nonpartisan nonprofit group that promotes independence as a critical part of growing up.
Why were our children so anxious?
Peter Gray, research professor of psychology at Boston College and author of the book "Free to Learn," suspected that the school closures are a big contributing factor to the happiness spike.
School has become more achievement-focused, and recess and opportunities for creative play have shrunk.
Making matters worse, children are rarely offered much of a reprieve after the bell rings.
"We tend to think children develop best when carefully guided by adults. So the belief is that even when they are out of school, children need to be guided," he said. "Kids rarely get a break from being judged and directed."
The positive responses some parents are seeing
Many parents are seeing more risk-taking and independence among their kids.
Diana David Joseph, a parent of triplets, age 5, and an 8-year-old, is hearing "Mom" a lot less often these days. Whereas her 5-year-olds once needed lots of help after school, now they are managing more of the day on their own.
"I swear before they couldn't do anything without me. They couldn't even get a cup of water," she said. Now,"there seems to be this newfound feeling that we don't need Mom overseeing everything that we do."
A mom of two in North Carolina, who prefers to remain anonymous to protect her child's identity, has noticed the same in her 12-year-old who has been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactive disorder and autism spectrum disorder.
At first, her daughter was struggling, as the lack of structure left her "unmoored."
"After about two weeks, I noticed an improvement," she said. "My older daughter was creating her own systems, practicing her clarinet every day — something I could never get her to do when it was a 'requirement' — and coming up with new ways to help around the house."
Her daughter has since organized her bedroom and the garage, and cooked breakfast. Overall, she seems "less emotionally overwhelmed" than she was before.