When you look back on all the people you’ve dated, you’ll probably notice at least a couple of similarities. Maybe your exes all had mysterious charm and razor sharp wit à la Penn Badgley, or maybe they had big IDGAF energy like Miley Cyrus. Whether they shared physical or personality traits, it’s OK to acknowledge you have a “type” — and that type can shift with your circumstances. So, considering the current coronavirus outbreak, it’s worth asking: Does your type change while dating in quarantine? The answer is a bit complicated. While your preferences are often pretty ingrained, your priorities have likely shifted. Let’s explore, shall we?
There’s no denying that this pandemic has impacted your life in a number of ways. Perhaps your financial situation has changed due to loss of work, causing you to look for new opportunities and adjust your spending habits. You might be worried for the health of yourself and your loved ones, or grieving a loss. Meanwhile, you could be grappling with new emotions, like anxiety around the future, or loneliness in response to social distancing. Whether you know it or not, all of these factors can affect on the types of people you’re drawn to. As your situation changes, so do your needs, which means that certain traits change in importance.
“The things we normally seek out in partners often do not matter while dating right now,” says Susan Trombetti, founder and CEO of exclusive matchmaking. “What matters most is someone who can make you laugh, smile, and feel safe — and who takes the same public health measures you do.”
On the whole, Trombetti says that many people are relaxing their preferences. In other words, if you typically only date people who look a certain way, or have a particular kind of job or lifestyle, you may find yourself willing to consider daters who don’t quite fit that description.
“Your primal needs takeover as opposed to your wants,” explains Trombetti. “Unconsciously or consciously, what’s important in a relationship becomes a lot clearer. Someone that is going to be there with you through thick and thin and have your back is what you need.”
Maria, 22, admits that pre-quarantine, she used to only swipe right on guys who looked like they club-hopped.
“Now I look for someone with a detailed bio and clear hobbies,” she tells Elite Daily. “Also — I immediately swipe left if someone jokes about breaking quarantine.”
If you have a specific physical type, you may find that you’re easing up on those standards. Trombetti notes that in particular, many people seem to be putting less of an emphasis on height. In the face of a crisis, you might be willing to overlook how short or tall someone is if they can calm your fears and make you feel secure.
“Before, I was looking more for somebody I would be attracted to,” says Julia, 21. “I'm still only swiping right on people I think are attractive, but it's less of a factor in how much effort I'm going to put into talking to people because all we can do is talk.”
Of course, physical attraction is still a key component of any relationship, regardless of whether a pandemic is in full swing. The point is, you may find yourself more willing to explore a connection with someone that doesn’t fit your physical type to a T, or immediately catch your eye purely on the basis of how they look.
It's not just superficial factors that have less weight, either — even certain practical factors, like distance, are suddenly inconsequential.
“If you normally prefer to date someone in your neighborhood out of convenience, a person 1,000 miles away is just as accessible right now,” explains Trombetti.