Does having kids really solve all relationship issues? Will your partner embrace your hobbies after you two get married? Many long-standing marriage myths create unrealistic views of how this relationship will be once you say "I do," and believing them often leads to conflict and insecurity in the months immediately after the wedding. Here are eight false facts about marriage that engaged couples shouldn't believe.
1. Fighting Is Inevitable
Not all marriages are full of constant bickering, and while it's definitely true that every married couple will disagree from time to time, don't worry that your life will be filled with arguments. And when you do argue, don't assume that it means your relationship is in trouble; fighting can actually help you two improve communication and strengthen your connection, as long as both parties practice respect.
2. Having Kids Solves All Issues
Many struggling couples believe that having children will patch holes in the relationship. But the stress of a newborn often exaggerates negative feelings, causing you to feel more frustrated and alienated than ever. Try working through any major red flags before thinking about starting a family.
3. You'll Become Dependent
Sure, you may split finances, free time, and household duties with your husband or wife, but that doesn't mean you'll be unable to function without him. The strongest couples have some level of independence, allowing them to maintain individual hobbies and passions.
4. Your Partner Will Change
Do you hate your partner's table manners or his obsession with horror movies? These little annoyances won't change after marriage, and it's unreasonable to assume your spouse will alter his personality to please you. Focus on loving your partner for exactly who he is—faults and all.
5. You'll Have Perfect Communication
Even after years of marriage, your husband won't automatically know what you're thinking. It's important to communicate effectively with your partner and try to understand his feelings and opinions. Otherwise you'll both end up feeling resentful, distant, or inadequate.
6. You'll Have the Same Interests
Do you absolutely love musical theater while your husband prefers baseball games? Don't expect to fall in love with each other's interests after getting married. It's perfectly normal to have separate pastimes, as long as you respect each other's interests without degradation or criticism. And if you do pick up a few of your significant others' hobbies? Even better.
7. Marriage Is Entirely Equal
Despite popular belief, marriage doesn't need to be 50-50 all the time. Sometimes your husband may take on a larger portion of housework, and other times you may manage dinner duty for a week straight. Don't look too much into the logistics; as long as both parties are equal contributors overall, the marriage shouldn't suffer.
8. Marriage Is Easy
Over the course of a marriage, you'll experience countless highs and lows. Periods of intense passion will be mixed with loneliness and frustration. Don't let these fluctuations get you down; every marriage involves work, and if you're willing to withstand the low times, you'll be rewarded in the high times.