One bride wrote to the people of Reddit to ask for advice after her bridesmaids called her out for demanding that one of them get a haircut. She's gotten 1,700 comments and counting that say she needs to back off and let her bridesmaid keep her hair the way it is.
It all started when the bride asked her 'maids to show her their hair and makeup plans for the wedding day:
I (hopefully) will be getting married this October to my amazing fiancé.
Over the past few weeks, my friends and I have done a weekly zoom call to gossip and discuss details. I asked them all to send me their intended hair and makeup for the day, to which they all did and I thought it was a reasonable request. All of them went for very similar, apart from Madeline.
Madeline's long hair may keep her from being able to have the same style as everyone else:
Madeline is the only one of the group who has hair past her chest, and due to the style, she wouldn’t be able to do the same style as everyone else. I gently suggested that she cut her hair to be able to do the same style as everyone else.
The bride asked her to cut it, and all the bridesmaids revolted:
She asked if i was being serious and I said yes, that I wasn’t planning on asking but that it seemed a simple thing to do. My friends were all pretty outraged over this minor thing and now Madeline is saying she doesn’t want to even be my bridesmaid. It’s only hair, it grows back! [Am I the a-hole?]
All of Reddit agrees that this bride is out of line.
Wanderinglilacs says:
Asking people to modify their appearance to be in a wedding party is not a reasonable request. If you want everyone to have to same
Sirharryflashman agrees:
To all the brides and grooms out there: the people you select for your wedding party are most likely people you have known for a very long time. You know the colour of their hair, the style of their hair, how many visible tattoos they have, their general appearance, etc. If you do not like any aspect of their appearance - DO NOT try to get them to change for your 'special day'; simply to do not ask them to be in your wedding party. YTA.
InvincibleChutzpah puts it succinctly:
To piggyback on this: If you place the “visual aesthetic” of one stupid party over life long friends and loved ones, YTA.
And glom4ever makes a good point:
You do not ask people to change their appearance to be in your wedding. Being in the wedding party is about supporting the couple not being dolls for the couple to dress up.
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